[ is it a surprise that jyn's been having similar thoughts? no, of course it isn't. because maybe they got it wrong. because it's bothered him since the beginning, hasn't it, since the oracle, since before jyn got here — silco saying, a universe to be remade cannot have anything else left. if we're rebuilding from the ashes...it must only be ashes. how many sleepless nights has he spent wondering about their world, and thinking about the worlds he saw when he traded with set, with vash, with quetzacoatl? how much is he really willing to burn, to ensure he takes down the empire?
how much can he even trust yima to do that for them?
he trusts quetzacoatl's offers more. he trusts set's promises more. and maybe the sides don't matter, but then what is he even doing with zenith? and it makes sense; john had agreed. one on each side. one with a good reason to stay in the sunlit city, able to keep his eyes open. and hadn't akua spoken to him, too, of the ease of changing sides, how that had to mean something. it has to mean something, all of it.
and then jyn says, i'd go with you.
unbidden, he remembers a different conversation from a lifetime ago. he remembers being unable to stay; he remembers another being unable to go. he remembers that's just love. the reminder is like a shock to his system. he shivers, even as she squeezes his hand gently. ]
I want you to come with me, [ is a confession, even though she's already agreed. but she should know this; he wants her to know this. ] And I want to go to Meridian.
[ there are so many pragmatic reasons for him to go, and he'd expressed them all. but to jyn, and only to jyn, he shares this reason. cassian andor had needed zenith, in the shadow of the iconoclast oracle; but now he wants meridian. he only needs to lean forward a short distance to meet her mouth with his, to push all of that longing into a kiss, soft and sweet. ]
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how much can he even trust yima to do that for them?
he trusts quetzacoatl's offers more. he trusts set's promises more. and maybe the sides don't matter, but then what is he even doing with zenith? and it makes sense; john had agreed. one on each side. one with a good reason to stay in the sunlit city, able to keep his eyes open. and hadn't akua spoken to him, too, of the ease of changing sides, how that had to mean something. it has to mean something, all of it.
and then jyn says, i'd go with you.
unbidden, he remembers a different conversation from a lifetime ago. he remembers being unable to stay; he remembers another being unable to go. he remembers that's just love. the reminder is like a shock to his system. he shivers, even as she squeezes his hand gently. ]
I want you to come with me, [ is a confession, even though she's already agreed. but she should know this; he wants her to know this. ] And I want to go to Meridian.
[ there are so many pragmatic reasons for him to go, and he'd expressed them all. but to jyn, and only to jyn, he shares this reason. cassian andor had needed zenith, in the shadow of the iconoclast oracle; but now he wants meridian. he only needs to lean forward a short distance to meet her mouth with his, to push all of that longing into a kiss, soft and sweet. ]